Go green, go brown…

This is the bag to take shopping downtown!

No more paper, no more plastic…

Go with cotton – it’s fantastic!

These bags are organic too…

You can make them at home, it’s the thing to do.

Pack your produce in Fruit-of-the-Loom…

Or use a pair of boxers if you need more room.

Wear them in; recycle them out…

It’s the eco-friendly solution without a doubt.

Spill some lemonade; drop some beans…?

No problem – just throw the bags in the wash along with your jeans!

While it’s true my solution may not be free…

You can save some money if you buy your BVDs in packs of three.

Make a statement, don’t be shy…

It’s good for the environment just give it a try.

Don’t let your alderperson be the source of shopper apprehension…

Let necessity be the mother of invention.

Put an end to flying bags. …

Convert them into stationary rags.

Instead of a landfill; make it a pantfill.

So remember next time you’re going out and about…

Save a tree, shop with your recycled BVD!

(If you’d like I’ll commission a study for a nominal fee…

For a hundred grand or so I’d do it with glee!)