A friend and I happened to be downtown in Chicago on the afternoon of the Gay Pride parade.  Gay Pride celebrations seem to give people, regardless of their sexual orientation, the freedom to wear some fantastic and outrageous outfits. 

Of course, it must be noted that many of the outfits worn by some women every day are shocking enough to make one wonder if they saw themselves in mirrors the way other people see them. 

When observing someone in an outfit that my mom considered inappropriate for that person’s shape or size, she would say, “Clothes don’t care who wears them,” or “I wish I had the mirrors some of these people have.” 

As most readers can recall in the story Snow White, the evil queen asks the magical mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”  The mirror always tells the queen that she is the fairest until Snow White comes on the scene.  As a parody of the queen’s request, I offer the following poem.

Mere-error, mere-error on the wall,

Who’s the most glamorous of them all?

As you and anyone else should see,

Without a doubt I’m the queen bee.

Those ripples that rest upon my thighs

Will only dazzle people’s eyes.

And look at how I’ve exposed my    breasts.

It causes envy in those with less.

As to baring those rolls around my waist,

I don’t consider that in poor taste.

Mere-error, mere-error, are you dazed?

You’ve not given me one word of  praise.

Yikes!  The mirror has shattered with loud cracks.

Obviously a sign of the good taste it lacks.

I don’t really care what the mirror might say

I know that I’m glamorous in my own way.

Postscript:  As my friend and I looked out the window of an el train, we noticed a woman standing on an el platform with what appeared to be bull’s-eyes painted around the nipples of her nude breasts. 

However, after reading an article in the July 8 publication of the RedEye newspaper titled “Wait, are those your real boobs?” I’m not sure if the woman was nude or not. 

The article includes a picture of a new bikini top for sale that has nipples painted on the cups.  Supposedly, these tops defy anti-nudity laws.  A sure way to get attention.

SIGH. 

What next?