Dear Gabby,
My children are very into body positivity and sex positivity and all sorts of other kinds of positivity. Which is great! Kudos to them. But my problem is that I was brought up in the dark ages of body shaming (can’t be too rich or too thin!) and sex negativity (dark rooms, unspoken fears). I have to admit that I am a little envious of my children and their seeming freedom around these issues. What can I do to be more like them?
Signed,
Oh to be young again….
Dear Oh,
It is very hard to separate ourselves from the culture we grew up in. From Twiggy to Jane Fonda’s Workout tapes (feel the burn!) to Love Story, we were bombarded with unrealistic, ridiculous messages all the time, and that was without social media. This younger generation has railed against all that, and I applaud them for it. However, just because they have spoken up against these things doesn’t mean that it has been easy for them. They have also been victims of that culture (thus the railing against), maybe even more so since they have had to cope with the whole highly curated perfect life that everyone posts all over Instagram. You may never get to the comfort level you seek, but you can educate yourself and take small steps in that direction. You could even ask your kids where you can start reading some good books about body and sex positivity. Let them be your teachers (if they are not too squeamish talking about it with you) and let your roles reverse. But, if you’d rather walk over hot coals than talk to your kids about sex, let alone sex positivity, just head to the internet and do some sleuthing of your own. Best of luck! You are on a very worthy journey, even if you do have to take some Ibuprofen before you start swinging from the chandeliers.
Dear Gabby,
Do we really have to celebrate the made-up, capitalist, Hallmark holidays like Mother’s and Father’s Day? It all seems like a ruse to boost the flower, chocolate, beer and grilling industry. To me, ridiculous.
Signed,
Cynical or stingy?
Dear Cynical,
Of course you don’t have to celebrate (but I wouldn’t wanna be your spouse/parent!). And of course they are made-up, capitalist, Hallmark holidays. However, since I personally mainline dark chocolate, think flowers can really brighten up the place, and cherish picture frames made out of popsicle sticks by eight-year-old hands, I’m gonna say, buy in, chill out, and start shopping.
P.S. On Mother’s Day, in addition to the dark chocolate, I always wanted to wake up to a clean house that I didn’t clean, spend the morning with my family, the afternoon without my family, eat a dinner I didn’t cook, and go to bed in a clean house that I didn’t clean. Oh well!
Dear Gabby,
Which religion induces the most guilt?
Signed,
Guilty
Dear Guilty,
Easy! Mine!
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.