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So many people I know have used their pandemic stay-at-home time to get in better shape. Bully for them! Unfortunately for me, they seem to spend the rest of their down time talking about it. Personally, I’m really sick of hearing about their high-intensity interval training or their resting heart rate of 48. Especially since I have used the pandemic to catch up on a lot of anxiety, worry and late-night refrigerator raids. How can I get them to shut up about their new-found buns of steel?
Gained more than Covid 19
Here’s a newsflash for all the barbell-raising, elastic band-stretching, jump-roping, spinning, cross fit, HIIT cardio kings and queens out there: No one wants to hear about your workout!!! Not even your mother. It is obnoxious and self-aggrandizing. The newly converted act as though they are the first person in history to run three miles or do a squat. Hate to burst your bubble, body-builders, but guess what? Yaaaawn. There is no zealotry like that of a convert.
Now, if you are in an exercise class, or your bestie happens to be your trainer, talk away! Go to town! Have a burpee bonanza. But otherwise, zip it. This brings me to a larger point which is a pet peeve of mine. People, please, before you start proselytizing (about anything), three words, my friends: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. You don’t preach to atheists, do you? If your friends don’t have as much money as you, don’t complain about being broke. Don’t go on and on about your new love interest amongst frustrated singles. Don’t complain about your cold to someone with chronic health problems, and don’t bitch about your kids in front of people going through fertility issues. When you find your bliss (workout regimen, significant other or vegan/mediteranian/low-carb/South Beach/no nightshade diet) that makes you want to do backflips, congratulations! Now shut up about it. You’d be surprised how many otherwise enlightened people are completely insensitive about sensitive issues.
Wow! It felt so good to get that off my chest. Even better than a barbell.
I have a confession to make: I don’t really need unemployment, but I got it during COVID when my job ended. I am fortunate in that we are a two-income family, and now I am feeling a little guilty about it. Should I have passed on this benefit?
There are lots of ways to think about this, but essentially I think yes, you should have passed on getting unemployment. If you don’t need a government benefit, why not save it for the people who do? I suppose you could argue that you are stimulating the economy by spending it, or that your worth as an unemployed person should not be judged by the income of the other earner in the household, if that makes sense. But essentially, I have to agree with your guilt. One way to alleviate it though, would be to donate your unemployment checks to organizations devoted to poverty relief, childcare, food banks, or job programs. No guilt, positive change, win-win!
Recently, my (inexpensive) hair stylist told me that she would never get a flu shot, and now I just can’t bring myself to go back to her. Maybe she would refuse a COVID vaccine as well. I’m too impatient to grow it out – such a pain – but too cheap to get it cut at a more expensive salon! I’m between a rock and a hair place…
What’s a gal to do?
Do what I do! Here is my method of hair care: Get it cut really short, and feel fundamentally liberated from all the sexist standards of beauty that women are judged by daily. Bask in the glow of the easy wash and wear do. Feel slightly superior that you had the moxie to make such a bold choice. Deposit all your old hair accoutrements right into the garbage can: ponytail holders, bobby pins, mousses, conditioners, head bands, etc. Out of your newfound joy, pledge never to grow it out again – why would you?! Wait a year. A faint itch will afflict you. It will get worse over time. You will start to wonder, would your hair be more flattering if it were longer? Why did you even cut it in the first place since it’s so hard to grow out? Everyone knows that! Brace yourself for a year, possibly two, of bad hair days. Re-buy the pony-tail holders, bobby pins, mousses, conditioners, headbands, etc. Trim your own bangs. We all know how well that goes. Wait two more years. In a fit of pique, cut it all off. Feel liberated……Lather, rinse, repeat.
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Friday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at email@example.com.