Dear Gabby,

I went on a date with a guy and he offered to pay for dinner and drinks. I offered to split, but he was insistent. When he went to the bathroom, I looked at the bill, and he paid less than a ten percent tip. Our service was excellent in a busy restaurant, post covid, where the waitress was working hard. I was so offended I handed the waitress a 20 on the way out. How do I tell him that I thought his tip was cheap, off the mark and insensitive?

Signed, 
Secret tipper

Dear Secret,

Perhaps your date never waited tables? Perhaps he is really, really bad at math? Perhaps he is a lout. Time will tell. In the meantime, when someone insists on paying the check, you can sometimes toss in “let me get the tip,” and then tip to your heart’s content. That is one strategy. 

Another is to come right out and ask him if he’s ever waited tables, just how hard it can be, the importance of supporting people in low-paying jobs, etc. When I first met my husband, there were a few times when I had to wrangle dollars out of him when he was treating me to meals. I had waited a lot of tables, he had put together Nutter Butter Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies. 

Fortunately, after many years together, he now tips and tips big. But along the way I found out that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree. His father was a notoriously bad tipper. And let’s just say that change was not his strong suit. So, after leaving the restaurant and heading for the car, either myself or my husband would say, “I forgot something,” and slip the waiter extra dough. Honesty is always the best policy, but in lieu of that, sneakiness works wonders.

Dear Gabby,

I love, love, love filling my house with plants. The problem is I can never remember when to water them, so I end up waiting until they start to flop over before quenching their thirst. Is there some better system, or should I accept my failure and fill my home with decorative rocks instead? 

Signed, 
No green on this thumb

Dear Green,

I can tell by your question that you must be over 40. Not because you love, love, love plants and not because you forget to water them (though middle-age forgetfulness is not to be sneezed at), nay, I can tell your age because you have not set a reminder on your phone to tell you to water the plants (or take a pill or make a call or take out the garbage). This is what every phone-addicted, angle-necked, millennial, gen X and gen Yer would do. 

I’m gonna guess you’re a boomer. If you are, you may not know how to set a reminder, in which case I suggest stopping any 11-year-old on the street to ask. After the eyeroll, they can be very helpful. Then, there are always the old-fashioned ways: writing it on your (paper) calendar or putting post-it notes up around the house. You could also schedule the watering of the plants alongside something you never forget, like, watching Judge Judy. 

Short of those ideas, I would recommend air plants, which are exotic and beautiful and require absolutely no water whatsoever. I last bought them at the Custer Street Fair, but now that that is gone for good (boo hoo!), you’ll have to look around. From one brown thumb to another, good luck!

Dear Gabby,

My friend asked to look at pictures we took today at the beach. She then kept scrolling and looked through other photos I had. Am I justified in feeling this is an invasion of privacy? 

Signed,
What the hay?

Dear Hay,

One hundred percent! You are completely justified in feeling like their scrolling through your phone is an invasion of privacy. Sounds kind of passive-aggressive to me. But mostly aggressive. Next time, show her (or anyone, though who else would be that rude?) the photos while keeping your hands on your phone. Forewarned is forearmed. Literally.

Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Friday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.