Dear Gabby,
Our first-floor neighbors recently moved in and they are all college students. They have not put shades up and we can see into their rooms, which is a little weird. Also, our next door neighbors mentioned that these kids do not have a shower curtain! And they can see through their window as well. We have power tools and would be happy to help them install shades but have never spoken to them. What is a way we can politely offer to help/imply that not everyone wants to see into their home?
Signed,
Turning a not so blind eye
Dear Turning,
Actually, I’m sure there are plenty of people that would love to see into their home! However, I get your point. If they were fully grown adults, I would say, surely they know they are on exhibit and perhaps they have decided that they prefer to be seen….all the time…..naked. But, and I don’t mean to offend the 18-22 year olds among us, college students just may not be one hundred percent aware that when the windows are bare, and the lights are on inside while it is dark outside, you may as well sell popcorn and Sno-caps for all the privacy you have.
I would suggest bringing some very friendly homemade cookies or brownies to their door, introducing yourself and making friends with the neighbors. For starters, it’s always good to have friends nearby when you run out of WD40, need a dog walked or you notice that someone has driven their car into your neighbor’s house (don’t laugh, it happens), to say nothing of having to ask them to turn down the music at 3:30 a.m. Then, while having this friendly conversation with these new found friends, you can mention that at night, people can see into their house, including their bathroom, very clearly, and should they want to put up blinds, they can borrow your drill. After that, they are on their own. Open the Snow caps and butter the popcorn!
Dear Gabby,
I don’t know how it happened but my five year old will only eat hotdogs. I mean literally—ONLY hotdogs. I know hot dogs are bad for you but I figure it’s better than starvation.
Also, I know my mother-in-law is judging me about this.
Help!
Signed,
It’s a dog’s life
Dear Dog,
First, let’s address the mother-in-law issue. Simple solution. Arrange a sleepover with grandma and see how well she fares! My guess is, no better. Of course, if, by some chance, your five-year-old eats fruits and vegetables and whole grains and legumes at grandma’s, I see a possible permanent sleepover solution. As for the nutrition of living solely on encased meats, I would say there is enough preservative in those to ensure your five-year-old a very, very long life.
However, this is really a question for your pediatrician. My bet is that they will agree with you, and that a hot dog is better than starvation. Moreover, kids who are picky when it comes to food grow out of it eventually. They also say that you have to offer children something seven or eight times before they try it, so fill their plate with the aforementioned colorful foods and see what happens.
There are a hundred ways to make a smiley face with berries, carrots and a slice of cantaloupe so you can always try that. Shredded cheese makes for lovely hair, by the way. Same with pasta, spaghetti squash and cheese puffs. Of course chocolate chips make for good everything! Even the vegan ones. Pretty soon your little one will be eating the Mona Lisa, who has no nitrites whatsoever.
Dear Gabby,
I am 75 years old, and as I get older I find myself in doctor’s offices and emergency rooms more and more. Nothing serious usually, but these older engines take a lot more upkeep! My daughter happens to be a doctor, and whenever I am in the ER (so far, always for non life-threatening things, thank goodness), she comes down from her practice to visit me since she works in the same hospital where I get care.
That sounds nice, right? A member of the family who is a doctor who can make sense of complicated situations. It would be, but I find that when she arrives, the doctor speaks directly to her instead of me. Like I’m not even there. I find this galling and belittling. And I’m not sure who to say something to, the doctor treating me or my daughter. Can you chime in?
Signed,
Impatient patient
Dear Impatient,
Can Gabby chime in? Perhaps the better question is does Gabby ever chime out! Happy to give you my two cents on this one.
First off, I’m sorry that you find yourself in the ER more often because that is never fun. It’s also scary, time consuming and crazy expensive. But you’re right, such is the nature of aging, although 75 sounds pretty young to me! As to the matter at hand, you seem to have done a great job of raising a smart, accomplished daughter, and I’m sure that didn’t happen by being a shy wallflower or squelching your voice.
When the treating doctor comes into your room and starts addressing your daughter, speak up and say, “Doctor Jones, I’m very anxious to hear what you have to say about my condition, so if you would address me instead of my daughter, I’d appreciate it. While she is an MD, she is only here for moral support. I’m the patient.” That should do it.
I think most doctors who do this need the reminder that it is a very bad habit. I’m sure it’s easy to fall into shop talk when you see a colleague, especially if your daughter happens to rank higher than them in the MD hierarchy (department chair, etc). If you run into a doc who is not responsive to your request, then you can ask your daughter to simply say (in situations like these), “please address my mom. She’s the patient.”
Between the two of you smart cookies, you got this.
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.
such fun and wise!