What’s with people who ask no questions?

Dear Gabby, 

What’s up with people who, in a social setting or otherwise, ask no questions of you when you are asking multiple questions of them?

Cat Got Your Tongue?

Dear Cat,

There is a name for these people. Some might be called narcissists, some might be called oblivious, and some might be called my relatives. If only I knew what’s up with them! And what is endlessly surprising to me is how many people fit into this category…just ask any young person trying to date! It’s mind boggling. 

But I would say that this gives you a gigantic piece of information about someone right up front, so in a way it saves you from having to explore a friendship/romance with this person. It’s like a gigantic psychological flashing red light that you can discern in one convo. Efficient!  We should thank them. Now you can put zero effort into your next conversation. Or, if you have the chutzpah, say “Thanks for not asking me anything! I don’t wanna talk about that Nobel Prize again.”

Dear Gabby, 

I am kind of embarrassed to admit this, but whenever I go to the drive-thru at McDonald’s, I find myself enraged at the people ahead of me who 1) don’t close the gap behind cars, therefore forcing others at the end of the line to wait in the street blocking traffic, and 2) make it up to the ordering speaker and still somehow don’t know what they want to order. Am I out of my mind to let this get me so pissed off? 

Livid in Line

Dear Livid,

There is nothing worse than watching the other line move forward while you are stuck behind a slow-talking, indecisive, mind-changing McDonald’s customer! It makes the grocery store feel like a luxury spa. And how about people who don’t have their money ready? Urg! My blood pressure is going up just thinking about it.

But this is a good place to practice one of two things: mindful meditation, because who really cares if you are delayed by five minutes because people don’t know their McDonald’s drive-thru etiquette? Or, my preferred approach, vicious swearing at a very quiet decibel level with the windows rolled up.

This serves many purposes. It gets a lot of built-up frustrations in your life out in a harmless way, since no one can hear you and punch you in the face. And, it’s just plain fun. So, next time you are jonesing for a Big Mac, decide if you want fries with that, get your money in hand, head for the drive-thru and pray no one can read your lips.

Dear Gabby,

My daughter-in-law keeps making bad decisions. I know the pandemic has been hard on everyone, but she doesn’t even try to look presentable anymore. She serves my son take-out at least four days a week. Every time I go over there, the place looks like it needs a good vacuuming and dusting. I hate the idea that my son has to live this way. I have dropped hints, but they seem to fall on deaf ears. How do I get her to straighten up?!

And Fly Right?

Dear Fly,

You can get your daughter-in-law to straighten up by teaching your son how to do more housework and cooking! It takes two, tootsie, and nowhere is it written that women are responsible for “looking presentable,” doing all the cooking, vacuuming, and dusting.

What era are you living in, 1950? I believe all the straightening up needs to be done by you and your son, not your daughter-in-law!

Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.