Dear Gabby,
What’s the deal with women’s pants not having any front pockets…and if they do, they are only two inches deep?
Pissed about no pockets
Dear Pissed,
If I only knew! My God, it is so annoying. Like short sheeting your fingers. As a person who doesn’t even carry a purse, I could kiss you for writing in, just so I can sound off.
What. The. Hell?! Are women only allowed to bring a quarter and a band aid (folded in half) for a night out? Cause that’s about all you can fit into most front pockets. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to even have pants on. A dress? Fuggedaboutit. Funeral? Hope you didn’t want any kleenex or breath mints! Wedding? Hope you aren’t menstruating!
If I had a nickel for every time I asked my husband if he could carry something for me in one of his deep front pants pockets, back pockets, suit jacket side pockets, suit jacket breast pocket or suit jacket inner pockets, I would have a summer house in Geneva. Or at least Lake Geneva. What is your problem, Levi Strauss?
I spent years looking for the old OshKosh overalls of my youth, just to have some decent pockets. Couldn’t find them anywhere. Remember painter pants? Or army pants? Pockets galore! And I’d rather have a dress with pockets than a Tesla. Almost.
Suffice it to say, if I knew any women’s clothing executives, I would give them a piece of my mind. And there isn’t much left to spare. There may be just enough mind left to go and order some nice utility pants for myself and stuff my whole hand into my pocket, minus the middle finger.
Dear Gabby,
I walk my dogs down many alleyways, and I often see some very pretty plants that either happen to grow along the outside of peoples’ fences or were purposely planted there (though I can’t imagine why). As a new gardener, I always wonder if it would be unethical for me to come out into the alley with a trowel and dig up some of these plants to transplant into my backyard. No one enjoys them in the alley – I don’t think – and I would definitely enjoy them in my garden. Does that make me a louse?
Green thumb and red handed
Dear Green,
What an interesting and, I have to say, devious question! While I cannot attest to your lousiness or lack thereof, I think a better way to approach the situation, rather than going out after dark with your spade and hoe, may be to knock on the door of the house whose alley plants you seek, and see if they would be amenable to giving you permission to take the plants. I know I wouldn’t mind if you asked me. Perhaps you can leave them a little something-something in their mailbox in return. Some brownies, a cup of sugar or a dress with pockets.
Dear Gabby,
I am in a circle of five women who have known each other for 25 years. We get together once a month for wine and conversation. One of the women tells the SAME STORIES all the time. Even when we say, “Carol, we’ve heard that one”, she keeps talking! It’s like she just can’t help herself. We love her but we have had it up to here! What do we do?
Deaf by now
Dear Deaf,
Boy do I share your misery. This is a pet peeve of mine, and I have many, many serial repeaters in my life. SO frustrating!
What I have come to understand is that all of these repeaters do not have the memory skills to differentiate who they have told what to. I happen to be married to one, in fact. I get desperate after a while and have been known to shout, “unlike you, I actually listen to what my spouse says, and I do not need to hear it five times!” But those are probably not my most diplomatic moments, I admit.
If Carol continues to keep talking after you bluntly tell her you’ve heard the story before, Carol is either feeding a need to be heard no matter what, a need to bring the conversation back to herself (another pet peeve. Hate it!), or a need for an appointment with a neurologist. If she has always been like this, I would chalk it up to Carol being Carol, in which case, you gals may have to be a little MORE aggressive (I know, it borders on rude) and just keep saying, “we heard that one.” Otherwise you may just have to say, “Carol, we’ve heard that story and we REALLY don’t want to hear it again, thanks!”
If this is new behavior for Carol, you’ll just have to dig deep and find some compassion for her as her memory could really be failing. Possibly the next book group pick could be about memory?
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.
I put care and work into our alley plants for people to look at. I check on them daily Pls enjoy looking at them but pls do not take them.
While the garden I created and maintain along my alley is for all to enjoy as they walk along, it is NOT my intention that people help themselves to the plants to take home. My public service has some reasonable limits that I would appreciate be respected.
It is highly unlikely that the writer is the only one enjoying these alleyway plants. Removing these plants creates an absence of beauty for everyone that follows. It would be a very selfish act.