• Sign In
  • CITY
  • SCHOOLS
  • ART & LIFE
  • PUBLIC SQUARE
  • SPORTS
  • BUSINESS
  • FOOD
  • CALENDAR
  • PHOTOS
  • NEWSLETTER
  • DONATE
  • About us
  • Jobs
  • Advertise
  • Mobile app
  • Submit a letter
  • Environment
  • Reparations
  • Evanston History
  • Weddings
  • Obituaries
  • Evanston 101
  • Contact us
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • RSS
Skip to content
  • About us
  • Jobs
  • Advertise
  • Mobile app
  • Submit a letter
  • Environment
  • Reparations
  • Evanston History
  • Weddings
  • Obituaries
  • Evanston 101
  • Contact us
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • RSS
Evanston RoundTable

Evanston RoundTable

Evanston's community newspaper since 1998

  • Sign In
Sign In
  • CITY
  • SCHOOLS
  • ART & LIFE
  • PUBLIC SQUARE
  • SPORTS
  • BUSINESS
  • FOOD
  • CALENDAR
  • PHOTOS
  • NEWSLETTER
  • DONATE
Posted inDear Gabby

I love posting about my kids. Is that so bad?

Avatar photo by Dear Gabby August 14th, 2022August 15th, 2022

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Print
  • LinkedIn
  • Email

Sign up for our free newsletter to have Evanston news delivered directly to your inbox every weekday!


Dear Gabby,

I am proud of my kids’ accomplishments and like to post about them on social media. I have recently gotten flack about that from someone close to me who considers it to be self-aggrandizing and, apparently, distasteful. What do you think about it? Should I stop posting?

Facebook Fanatic

Dear Facebook,

Since you call yourself a fanatic, I’m gonna assume that you don’t just like posting about your kids’ accomplishments, maybe you love it? To a large extent this is a matter of taste, and my taste leans toward silence. Do you want to be  one of those parents? I know you are proud, but it’s a slippery slope.

In my unprofessional opinion, I would say a little goes a loooooong way. When you feel the urge to sing your children’s praises, call your mom, your sister or your close friend, but Facebook posts and huge lawn signs saying, “Congratulations, Maddie!” are too too, at least for me. Our kids haven’t cured cancer, they’ve just won a debate tournament. Good on them! Does the whole world have to know? 


Dear Gabby,

We named our cat Ginsburg, since, when I got her, the whole family was enamored of Ruth Bader Ginsburg and all she had done for women’s rights. I’m sure you know where this is going! Now, I see RBG in a totally different light – someone whose ego prevented her from stepping down during a Democratic administration and single-handedly helped overturn Roe. 

Oh, the irony! But back to my cat. Can I change her name?  

Too Catty?

Dear Catty,

Personally, I don’t think it’s right to change a pet’s name after she’s gotten used to hearing it come out of her beloved person’s mouth for her entire life. However, why not reframe the situation? Ruth Bader isn’t the only Ginsburg in town! There are a long list of accomplished Ginsburgs, Ginsbergs, and Ginzburgs, including, of course, the beat poet Allen Ginsberg, the American gymnast Brian Ginsberg, and the lead researcher in a team that developed the first videotape recorders, Charles Ginsburg (who knew?). Gotta love Google.

So, don’t think of it as honoring someone you no longer find honorable, think of it as drawing attention to an otherwise unsung hero, like Lithuanian-born American Isaac Ginsburg, who was an influential ichthyologist. 

Look it up! I had to. 


Dear Gabby,

One of my childhood friends, who still lives in the city where we grew up, asked me and my family to rent a vacation house with her and her family next summer. The problem is, my kids don’t exactly love her (she’s got a sharp tongue, which I also struggle with). And, while they like her kids, they don’t have a lot in common with them. In fact, zero. Nevertheless, given our very longstanding friendship (40+ years) I feel bad about rejecting her offer. What should I do?

Signed,

Guilt-ridden

Dear Guilt,

If I could wave a magic wand and single handedly get rid of one useless, destructive feeling, it would be guilt. And I would happily send it into fiery hell to burn for all of eternity. Be gone! 

I don’t think you should take your friend up on her offer, despite your 40+ years of friendship. Just because you’ve been friends for a long time does not guarantee a fun fortnight under one roof. As any family will tell you, living under one roof can be harrowing at best, and dig-your-own-eyes-out-with-a-mellon-baller at not best (don’t ask me about “worst” because I don’t think the editors would print it!). 

You are under no obligation to say yes, just because she asked. You should just tell her that you have already made summer plans. If you prefer to take the direct route, you could say, “None of us like you and we really don’t want to go.”

Lots of options. But remember, life is short and the more soul-sucking time you spend with people who squeeze every ounce of happiness out of you like the old bathing suit wringer at the Y, the more you’ve betrayed the person who matters most: you.

You have Gabby’s permission to quote the very, very misguided, mistaken, and uniquely beige Nancy Reagan, and just say no.

Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.

Support the RoundTable!

As a member of the RoundTable, your support throughout the year supports our work covering all the vital news that matters in Evanston! Please consider making an additional gift!

$
$
$

Your contribution is tax-deductible. We appreciate your support!

Become a member of the RoundTable!

Did you know that the Evanston RoundTable is a nonprofit newsroom? Become a member today to support community journalism!

$
$
$

Your contribution is tax-deductible. We appreciate your support!

Avatar photo

Dear Gabby

Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. No question is too serious, too silly or too snarly for Gabby, who combines wisdom with wit and a pinch of snark. Her aim is to make you think while she... More by Dear Gabby

Latest News

  • Latest news from Evanston: Your Wednesday daily digest September 27th, 2023
  • Evanston OKs small-donor match program for mayoral elections September 27th, 2023
  • An Evanston Minute: Ryan Field rezoning protest September 27th, 2023
  • ETHS boys soccer: Draw costs Kits in conference race September 27th, 2023
  • ‘Community benefits now’: Activists march against Ryan Field rezoning September 26th, 2023

Trending

  • Jewish deli to open in Golden Olympic spot this spring
    Jewish deli to open in Golden Olympic spot this spring
  • Activists host march demanding changes to NU stadium plan
    Activists host march demanding changes to NU stadium plan
  • Former McGaw Y worker accused of slapping 4-year-old, charged with felony
    Former McGaw Y worker accused of slapping 4-year-old, charged with felony
  • Letter to the editor: Ryan Field opponents want to get us to zero
    Letter to the editor: Ryan Field opponents want to get us to zero
  • New Northlight Theatre may finish construction in 2026
    New Northlight Theatre may finish construction in 2026
  • How updates to the city's landlord-tenant ordinance could solve housing issues
    How updates to the city's landlord-tenant ordinance could solve housing issues
  • 'Community benefits now': Activists march against Ryan Field rezoning
    'Community benefits now': Activists march against Ryan Field rezoning
  • New 'senior only' DMV services debut at Civic Center
    New 'senior only' DMV services debut at Civic Center
  • Picturing Evanston
    Picturing Evanston
  • Parks and Rec Board floats idea of a separate Evanston park district
    Parks and Rec Board floats idea of a separate Evanston park district
Evanston RoundTable
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • RSS
  • Home
  • City News
  • Schools
  • Art & Life
  • Public Square
  • Sports
  • Food and Dining
  • Community Calendar
  • Reports & Analyses
  • Obituaries
  • Podcasts and video
  • Reparations
  • Evanston History
  • Our mission
  • About us
  • Advisory Committee
  • Board of Directors
  • Diversity, equity and inclusion
  • Become a member
  • Get the newsletter
  • Read us on your mobile device
  • Submit a letter to the editor
  • Advertise with us
  • Contact us
  • Evanston RoundTable privacy notice

The Evanston RoundTable is the community’s leading source of news about local government, schools, civic and artistic activities, and other important issues facing our city. We seek to foster civic engagement and empower people to address complex issues facing our diverse community, promoting a better understanding and appreciation of people of all races, ethnicities, and income levels.

Evanston Roundtable
1514 Elmwood Avenue
Suite 2
Evanston, Illinois 60201
847.864.7741

© 2023 Evanston RoundTable Media NFP. Proudly powered by Newspack by Automattic Evanston RoundTable privacy notice
I don't have an account I already have an account

Sign In

We've recently sent you an authentication link. Please, check your inbox!

Sign in with a password below, or sign in using your email.

Get a code sent to your email to sign in, or sign in using a password.

Enter the code you received via email to sign in, or sign in using a password.

Subscribe to our newsletters

Sign in with your email

Lost your password?

Try a different email

Send another code

Sign in with a password

OR

By signing up, you agree to our Terms and Conditions.

Close