I just heard that Dr. Fauci will be stepping down soon. I am heartbroken! I named my dog Fauci, one of many little canine Faucis running around, as I understand it. How do I process my feelings when I know they’re a little bit ridiculous, and yet I feel really sad about the situation?
Ouchie for Fauci
Like your favorite characters in beloved novels and tv shows that run for years, public figures mean a lot to us. Sometimes we identify with them, sometimes they say what we want to say – but can’t – and sometimes we just think they are stand-up peeps. Nothing wrong with that!
When one of these people leaves your stratosphere, it marks the end of something. And for that, you are allowed to feel melancholy. In the case of a political appointee, it is especially difficult because they could be replaced by someone you admire (a lot) less. So, I would process this loss like any other, even if you feel silly. Your feelings are your feelings, and there is no right or wrong, they just are.
If processing these feelings means talking about them, go for it. But, to prevent yourself from being reminded of this loss all the time, you may wanna name your next goldfish Wanda.
I got stung in the calf by a wasp this week and my leg blew up. I was slightly concerned, mostly about future stings since I know they get worse as time goes by. So I sent a picture to my doctor, even though I was pretty sure this swelling was going to go away.
Fortunately, she said not to worry as I was not having an allergic reaction but an “exuberant inflammation response.” (When I told a friend of mine this, she said it sounded like an erection, which I thought was hilarious.) In any case, I think I did the right thing by contacting my doctor, but I am very aware of how busy she is and don’t want to contact her about little things (which this kind of turned into).
How do I decide when to bother her and when to sit tight?
I never know
Dear Never Know,
I beg to differ! I think you do know, as you clearly demonstrated in your letter. You had a situation (your leg blew up) that seemed a little concerning, you had some knowledge that there was potential danger (reactions to stings can get worse the more stings you get) and you acted appropriately (sent a message to your doctor).
I certainly respect that you are cognisant of your doctor’s busy schedule, but your doctor was able to both reassure you and give you new information, all in a brief note (it could have also been her nurse that answered you, or a physician assistant).
She’s a doctor, and this is her job. I’m sure she would rather you err on the side of caution, provided you’re not bothering her needlessly. You don’t sound like a pest or a hypochondriac, you sound like you have good judgment. Trust yourself, even if you feel iffy. As they say, better iffy than dead.
My spouse has given up on American sports and spends their weekend mornings glued to premier league soccer. What can I do to get them to become more American?
Cranky Doodle Dandy
At this point in the political, social, environmental and economic life of the United States, I’m not sure why anyone wants to become more American! But I digress. I can’t judge whether men’s soccer in this country is worthy of your spouse’s attention, but I can put in a plug for women’s soccer, which is out of this world.
Or women’s basketball (Hello Chicago Sky!). Or women’s football (as in tackle football) which is fast becoming a thing. In fact, the U.S. Women’s Tackle National Team has won gold at every IFAF World Championship so far, including the 2022 games earlier this month in Finland. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, McCaskey! I hope your spouse sees the light!
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at firstname.lastname@example.org.