I came home to Chicago after a weekend trip last night. When I boarded the plane in New York, the only space I could find to stow my bag was in the back of the plane, even though my seat was toward the middle-front. When we landed, I had to risk life and limb to get to my bag, since everyone who had to let me by gave me the stink eye. Can’t a passenger expect a little help? Is that so much to ask? I mean, aren’t we all passengers on the same crazy journey called life?
Actually, it is too much to ask! Sure we’re all passengers on the same crazy journey called life, but some of us understand plane etiquette better than you do.
If you are in the unfortunate situation where your bag is far behind you on a plane, your only polite choices are A) find a seat at the back with your bag, or B) wait until all the other passengers have deplaned before you inconvenience dozens of people so that you, one person, can get your one bag. It’s not the entire plane’s fault that you had to put your bag behind you, and yet you are perfectly happy making them pay for your situation.
How do you like it when someone brings a piece of luggage that is too big to fit in the overhead, yet stands in the aisle blocking everyone else from boarding, while trying and retrying to jam their bag into storage? I wanna kill those people. Even after I’m already seated. So rude! This is basically the same thing. Don’t be one of them. Trust me, everyone is desperate to get off the plane. Be polite, be quick, or be gone!
Our 15-year-old daughter started going out with someone earlier this year. For six weeks, she and her boyfriend were “in love” and saw each other at least 3-4 days a week, even though they don’t go to school together and live in different towns. Then our daughter was told by a mutual friend that her boyfriend had cheated on her.
She never spoke to the boyfriend again. But as it happens, we just saw the kid at an event (they play the same sport). My husband wanted to punch him, but I wanted to pretend he didn’t exist. I won, but the whole thing felt awful, and we just had no idea what to do. What’s your advice, Gabby?
Unfortunately, despite our instincts to kill the people who hurt our children, we must not. We must follow the lead of our child. If she is not speaking to him, probably best that you and your hubby stay out of it, even though you want to stomp on his entrails. I don’t love the idea of ghosting someone without making sure that the second hand info about the cheating is indeed correct, but, you know, I’m not 15. And thank God. I take that back. I would love to be 15, but only if I could have the maturity of a post-menopausal, take-no-prisoners, don’t f**k with me, I’m-gonna-ask-out-anyone-I-want-because-rejection-is-just-material-for-a-bestselling-podcast kind of gal. Wouldn’t that be fun?
My sister, whom I love dearly, is 15 years older than me and is starting to show signs of dementia. She is happily married but is often grumpy with her husband. She sees me as her “person” and wants to move close to me so I can take care of her. I already took care of our mom when she had dementia. I feel like a bad sister, but I don’t want to do it again! Help!
Dear Bad sister,
The time has come for a frank discussion with your sister, before her dementia progresses any further. But before that, you should think about what you are willing to offer as she ages.
You say she is happily married, but that she wants you to take care of her. Most of us assume that our partners will take care of us as we age if they are able. Of course this is all a little irrelevant since she has come right out and asked you to take care of her. You are in a bind, not of your own making.
I believe that once you figure out what you can offer your sister, you should sit down and explain that you love her dearly, that taking care of your mother was very difficult, and while you can offer her some support, you cannot be the sole provider of her care. But, between her husband, friends, you, and hired help if you can afford it, a solution can be stitched together. As you know, being a caregiver can be a full-time, thankless job. Stick to your commitment to yourself while helping her arrange the best possible solution.
Best of luck to you. Let Gabby know how it goes!
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at firstname.lastname@example.org.