Dear Gabby,
This may sound funny, but I have always felt bad about the way I broke up with someone in high school. It was more than 40 years ago now, but every time I think about it, my stomach lurches a little. Would it be insane to try and reach out to this person and apologize?
Safe and sorry
Dear Safe,
Apologies are always welcome, no matter how much time has gone by. Even if this person wasn’t injured by your break up, they will appreciate the concern behind the apology. You may even strike up a new friendship. And if they never write back, that’s fine too. You can let it go knowing you made the effort.
As a side note, in my experience, things from the past that weigh on my mind are often not even remembered by the person I believe I wronged (thank God!). However, that should not stop you. When I think about all the apologies I wish I’d gotten from the jerks who broke up with me … oh jeez, I just realized … I hope you weren’t one of them! But if a long lost apology did come to me in the mail, I would appreciate it most sincerely!
Dear Gabby,
My co-worker has a bowl of candy at her desk. Sometimes there are M&Ms in there, sometimes hard candies, sometimes Skittles. It served many purposes: a nice treat any time you wanted it, a place to gather and see colleagues, a gesture of kindness from the giver.
Then came the pandemic, and now all I can think of is the germs that are passed from hand to candy and candy to hand, since they are not always individually wrapped. I’ve thought about saying something to the co-worker, but I’m not sure it’s my place to object. What do you think?
Hungry but hesitant
Dear Hungry,
Your instincts are excellent! It is not your place to object. Unless you work at Nickelodeon, I’m gonna assume all your colleagues are grown-ups and can thereby make their own decisions, be they germy or sterile. Don’t think of that candy dish as something you need to avoid and thereby lose your sweet morsel in the middle of a blah day, think of it as a small amount of germs that will tune up your immune system.
And if that grosses you out, which is understandable (I just don’t share that feeling, since I once stole a roll off someone else’s used hotel room service tray – don’t judge!), skip the sweets altogether and bring your favorite soda to the gabfest. Win-win!
Dear Gabby,
My teenagers have no interest in learning how to drive. To give them the benefit of the doubt, they are self-sufficient and don’t ask me for rides all the time. But still, I had to beg my parents to take me driving, and I couldn’t WAIT to get my license and be independent. I don’t get it. What is with this generation?
Aliens in the house
Dear Aliens,
I wish I knew! (Dear readers, fill me in!) Getting that first set of car keys felt like a coronation! But if being long in the tooth has taught me anything, it’s that every generation does it their own way. Given the world we’ve handed our children, and the way they’re scrambling to try to improve it, I’d say be grateful for fewer fender benders and lower premiums on your insurance policy!
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.