Dear Gabby,
What advice would you have for your younger self?
Curious
Dear Curious,
Where to begin! I have so much advice for my younger self, I could write an advice column.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself.
- Start a retirement account earlier.
- Ten, 20 and 30 years from now, you’re gonna look back at yourself and say, “I wish I still looked like that, what was I thinking!” You look way better than you think, in fact, you look amazing, so work it!
- Put more sunscreen on your neck.
- Ask everyone out. What’s the worst that’s gonna happen? You get rejected? Eat rejection for breakfast, take notes, and then publicly flog those that rejected you, slightly changing their names, but only slightly.
- Take much better care of your teeth.
- Travel, travel, travel.
- Don’t stay in bad relationships because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. You will definitely regret it.
- Stick with that musical instrument!
- Get mad, it’s OK.
- Learn another language fluently. Any language!
- Use less plastic.
- Let shit go.
Need I go on? Because I could. But I won’t.
Dear Gabby,
I am 20 years old and am coming home for the summer. I don’t have an internship lined up, so I’m planning to go back to the old job I had in high school at a local restaurant. The problem is that everyone I went to high school with comes into this place, and they all do have internships for the summer. It always makes me feel crappy, and that I am not where I should be. I know I shouldn’t compare, but it’s hard not to. Any ideas?
Waiting (tables and in general)
Dear Waiting,
Hold your head high! You are employed, you are productive, and you will eat better than anyone else this summer. While everyone loves to project the perfect snapshot of themselves (hello, social media), no one’s life matches the gloss. Trust me, everyone is struggling to do their best, and everyone has problems. Some of us just cover it up better than others.
Most people are more attracted to those who admit their troubles than those whose lives seem perfect. Never, ever, let other people’s opinions of you eat into your self confidence (or at least try!). That is truly the lose-lose option. As my mother recently said, “Be happy, be healthy, and avoid the idiots!”
Dear Gabby,
My father-in-law is a well-meaning man, but it has been a very long time since he’s been around small children, and even when he was raising his own, I’m not sure he was the cuddly type. So he can’t seem to stop himself from being critical when my four-year-old daughter writes her name with a backwards letter.
When she comes to him to proudly show him what she wrote, instead of saying something supportive, or even nice, he will just say, “That’s wrong!” I try to be polite, but frankly I feel like taking him out at the knees. Any more constructive ideas?
Pitchfork princess
Dear Pitchfork,
Politeness can only get you so far. Like maybe a foot. Sit your father-in-law down and just tell him point blank that he will have to be a little gentler in his dealings with his grandchild. Children don’t have to be shielded from every gruff relative and neighbor, but come on, she’s only four!
He’s the grown-up, so he can rein it in. If you have to spell it out for him, do so. If that doesn’t get you anywhere, or if this feels too confrontational to you, enlist the help of your spouse or mother-in-law. You may be able to teach an old dog new tricks. Or put him on a shorter leash.
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.
Couldn’t agree more