Dear Gabby,
My wife is an anti-plastic fanatic. Now, I agree in principle, we need to take care of our planet. However, she has instituted a new rule: no plastic in the house. Zero. Do you know how crazy hard this is? The kids have to get rid of 95% of their toys. I have to go to the hippie grocery store and bring my own glass jars to fill out of their bins. It’s a bit of a nightmare.
In the meantime, it seems like she got bar shampoo and a bamboo toothbrush and is good to go. What do you think about this?
Bamboozled
Dear Bamboozled,
I appreciate the fact that your wife has the power to institute a new rule in a unilateral way! So it pains me to say: rules, in general, should not be made unilaterally. Ouch. That was painful.
I agree with your wife in that using plastic should be avoided, and we all need to be better stewards of the planet. Where I think there is room for flexibility is in limiting any future use of plastics. Once you have bought the plastic toy or the Tupperware, they are already in the house and economically, you aren’t voting with your dollars. If you are worried about off-gassing or forever chemicals, I get that.
I just think that you may want to revisit the ultimatum as a family, since they may scream bloody murder when all their Legos go away. You have to lean on a word that is not one of my favorites, honestly, but goes a long way toward peaceful co-existence: compromise. There, I said it.
Dear Gabby,
My kid’s teacher doesn’t like him. Of course, she denies this but I can tell, and more importantly, my kid can tell. He is a brilliant, creative child who “follows his own drummer.” He doesn’t like to be told what to do, especially when the instruction doesn’t make sense to him.
He will ask, “Why should I line up to go outside for recess? We are all going to be outside in a minute anyway.” Or he might refuse to read a book that is assigned because it is boring.
He is an excellent reader; he doesn’t want to waste his time on a book he doesn’t like. I have to agree with him. A teacher should take into account a child’s talents and personality. I don’t want him squashed by a system that demands conformity.
How do I enlighten his teacher so my child can have a good school experience?
All he rote
Dear All,
I believe that you will want to work with your son’s teacher on this issue, as opposed to enlightening her about how brilliant your child is, even if he is baby Einstein (teachers, please chime in here, as I would love to hear your opinion on this one!). No one likes to be schooled (pun intended) on how to do their job. At the same time, I’m sure she would love to know if he needs more advanced books to read, for example.
In every school, public or private, there will be a certain number of structural and content elements in your child’s life that will be boring or uninteresting to them (hello standardized tests!). There will also be wonderful teachers who inspire them and change lives and less wonderful teachers who are not a great fit for your child. This is life. And our job as parents is to help them navigate these challenges, not make sure they never have any challenges.
Having said that, I would make an appointment with your child’s teacher to discuss some of your concerns. Teachers are used to kids who march to a different drummer. Perhaps you can come in with some suggestions rather than a list of concerns. Maybe he can go to a more advanced class for the subjects he excels in, or you can start an after-school club in, say robotics, if that’s his thing. Lots of room for creativity. Lastly, if you can afford it, you can always find enrichment for him outside the classroom. Also, keep in mind that school serves other functions, as well as academics, and those are important as well.
Dear Gabby,
I am turning 65 this year and have one question for you: WTF?!
Black mirror
Dear Black,
As someone wiser than me once said, “Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.”
I feel ya, buddy.
Dear Gabby appears in the RoundTable every Monday. Yes, Gabby is an advice columnist – but not just any advice columnist. Because that would be boring! Gabby combines wisdom with wit. And a pinch of snark. She is not a trained therapist by any means, but has seen and loved many in her day. Her aim is to make you think while she makes you laugh. Gabby welcomes all questions and queries and is only too happy to hear your opinion, no matter how much it may diverge from hers. Write to Gabby at news@evanstonroundtable.com.